"Boys Will Be Boys": Some Final Thoughts

As you can see, there were no shortage of comments regarding Al Mohler’s blog on ADHD. Thanks to all those who contributed to the discussion! Now I would like to ADD a few comments of my own (pun intended).



According to the Diagnostic Criteria from DSM-IV (the manual listing and describing psychiatric disorders recognized by the American Psychiatric Association), ADD (Attention Deficit Discorder) is characterized by inattention and impulsivity. ADHD includes a third characteristic: hyperactivity (hence the addition of the ‘h’ in the abbreviation).



I checked out a detailed list of symptoms for each of these three areas (inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity) by going directly to the DSM-IV criteria for Attention-Deficity/Hyperactivity Disorder. What struck me about these symptoms is that they can characterize almost any child (especially boys) – and some adults – on just about any given day, at varying degrees and levels. Thus it is difficult to ascertain as to whether one is dealing with a disorder or a discipline issue.



When you think about it, ADD/ADHD is basically a description of behavior, not an explanation. It answers the question what is happening but not why. Virtually every symptom could be indicative of a spiritual problem as opposed to a medical problem. That is not to say it is a spiritual problem, but that it could be. Christian counselor Ed Welch offers a couple of helpful illustrations in this regard – ones that show discernment and sensitivity in dealing with such children:



Say, for example, that your child is hitting another child because the other child is playing with his toy. This is clearly a spiritual problem. Even though your child may also struggle with inattention and hyper-activity impulsivity, these cannot be excuses for such behavior. Physical problems do not force a child to sin. Of course, it is not always easy to determine the relative contribution of the spiritual and the physical. That is why we must be careful students of those who fit the ADD description. But the basic principle is that we just take Scripture for what it says. If we find that either our behavior or that of our children violates what God says in Scripture, then "the treatment" is to grow in faith and obedience, knowing that the Holy Spirit can give the grace to change.



One word of caution, though. Sometimes children disobey parental commands and there might not be a spiritual problem. Scripture clearly instructs children to obey their parents, so disobeying them would seem like an obvious infraction of God’s law – a spiritual problem. But it is possible that the child did not understand or remember the parental request. Inadequate understanding or forgetting is not sinful in itself. Parents need to be sure that they have not given their child a command that is indecipherable to him as a calculus assignment. Keep your mind on the child and not just on the chore.



What if a child is told to clean her room and doesn’t? Before deciding that this is a spiritual problem, a wise parent must be certain that the child understands what is expected and has adequate help avoiding distractions. What if a child is disruptive at the dinner table? It may be that the child is naturally more active but is also unwilling to listen to parental instruction. In these cases and hundreds of others, parents must know how to address both a sinful heart and an energetic constitution.



One of my own children has learning disabilities. He has very under-developed processing skills. This has been verified through a battery of tests and rigorous analysis by cognitive therapists and other specialists. What led us as parents to have our son undergo such tests? We saw that in school, he just wasn’t "getting it." He had to repeat kindergarten and never did make it into the first grade at First Baptist Christian School, where he was attending. Since graduating from kindergarten, this particular child of ours has been on his own Individual Educational Progam (IEP), as determined by us his parents working with this team of specialists and his teachers.

Our son has a legitimate disability. At the same time, his learning disability makes him susceptible to laziness in his schoolwork. Because he’s not naturally good at it, he often does not want to work at it. This is a spiritual problem whereas his disability is not. Therefore, we as his parents need to discern between his disability and his disobedience or lack of discipline.



Years ago, I remember reading Chuck Swindoll’s book on parenting, You and Your Child. In a chapter entitled, "Those Extra-Special Children," Swindoll affirms that while all children are special and unique in their own personality and make-up (Psalm 139), some children are "extra" special due to "unusual circumstances during the prenatal period or at birth.... These very special gifts from God’s heart to our home require from their parents an extraordinary amount of time, love, understanding, and attention. But the rewards are immeasurable." Swindoll goes on to talk about the adopted child, the handicapped child, the gifted child, the single-parent child, and, yes, the hyper-active child. In talking about all these various situations, Swindoll brings his readers back to "our scriptural home base, Prov. 22:6: 'Train up a child in the way he should go,

Even when he is old, he will not depart from it.'"




Swindoll offers a helpful paraphrase of that verse: "Adapt the training of your child so that is in keeping with his God-given characteristics and tendencies; when he comes to maturity, he will not depart from the training he has received." Much farther into the book, when Swindoll addresses those "special" cases listed above, he says the following regarding hyper-active children:



...Our training methods are to be in keeping with our child’s ‘way’ – his bent, characteristics, and needs.... This is never more important than in the case of a hyperactive child. You, his parent, must remain confident you can handle your child. Your consistent and firm leadership is the key to your child’s training. Don’t relinquish it under any circumstances.... The setting of firm, fair rules is absolutely essential. Follow through. Hyperactive children will need a more structured environment than other children.



Swindoll says many other helpful things, but time and space forbid me from going into them. I would encourage you to order his book for further reading. It’s thirty years old, but still relevant.



Well, two articles and a dozen comments won’t do much to solve the dilemma of ADD/ADHD. That’s not the purpose of this blog. My goal is to get our readership to consider real, everyday issues in light of God’s Word, wrestling with any tensions it may raise with what we do, how we do it, and why. Certainly this includes our mindset and methods in parenting. In closing, let me give you these words of wisdom from Alistair Begg:



In counseling, ... we must recognize the point at which we have to say, "You need specialized help of another sort, not just spiritual help." We may do great damage if we fail to do this, because we may imply the person’s problem is wholly spiritual, when it may be far from that. One way of testing whether or not a person’s problem is spiritual is to apply the spiritual remedy. If that does not suffice, then we must consider the possibility of some other area, besides the spiritual, needing investigation.



These are wise words, in my opinion. In dealing with our problems, or those of our children, we must never minimize, undermine, or rationalize away the biblical, spiritual principles involved. These must be addressed first. Having done that, we have the liberty to pursue other options within the bounds of God’s Word. As we continue to wrestle with issues such as these, may we remember the following exhortations from Romans 14:



Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. . . .

Let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.




Have a good weekend!

Boys Will Be Boys?

In light of the fact that this has been a busy week at First Baptist, thus hindering me from writing a full-fledged blog of my own ... and in light of the fact that my last posting was so "soothing" in nature and elicited no responses ... I thought I would generate a discussion (start off a firestorm?) by linking you to the most recent posting of prolific blogger Al Mohler, who also happens to be the President of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.

Mohler is sure to generate some heat over his thoughts on ADHD. What are your thoughts? Read Al's article, then return here to TruthWalk, and leave a comment!

Wait

On Wednesday night, we witnessed a total lunar eclipse. This phenomenon occurs when the moon passes completely through the earth's shadow. This is called the umbral shadow. Within the umbra (shadow), the source of light is completely blocked by the object causing the shadow. This accounts for the dimming of the moon.

Herein is a great illustration of the Christian life. Many times we find ourselves in the shadow of our circumstances. Our problems loom so large, that we can’t see the light of our Savior’s love. Depending on the size of the problem, there might be a "total" eclipse or a "partial" eclipse, just like the kind we see in the sky. We can be just a little discouraged, or we can be totally depressed. The range is vast, and the problems are real.

When you find yourself in such a shadow, take encouragement from the Scriptures. The psalmist prayed, "My soul clings to the dust; revive me according to Your word.... My soul melts from heaviness; strengthen me according to Your word." (Psalm 119:25, 28)

When David found himself in difficult circumstances, he reminded himself, "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1)

There are times when we feel that God is not there. We don’t sense the light of His presence. But that doesn’t mean He isn’t there. He is there! "For He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’" (Heb. 13:5). The challenge for us is to trust God’s word over our feelings. In fact, the psalmist went so far as to say, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes" (Psalm 119:71, emphasis mine). Some of life’s best lessons can be learned in the most trying seasons, if we will but turn to God in prayer, clinging to His promises.

Also remember that God’s word abides forever, but our trials don’t and won’t. The total phase of Wednesday’s eclipse (the time that the moon was completely immersed within the Earth’s dark shadow) was under fifty minutes. This is significantly less than the last total lunar eclipse (Aug. 28, 2007), which lasted ninety minutes. Likewise, some trials we experience are comparatively longer or shorter than others. But the point is that regardless of their length, they are all temporary and will eventually pass.

The key for us is to wait. Isn’t that precisely what David told himself to do in his dark moments? He began Psalm 27 by saying, "The LORD is my light," and he ended the psalm by saying, "Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!"

Wise counsel! With that in mind, I leave you with this beautiful song entitled Wait that my cousin Ted Fletcher composed a few years ago and just recently posted on YouTube. (In the video, Ted is the man kneeling in prayer.) May this song encourage you to wait on the Lord in the midst of your trial – and He will strengthen your heart!

My Call to the Gospel Ministry

While cleaning out some files, I came across a two-page paper I was required to write for a Pastoral Ministry class in seminary. The assigned subject was "My Call to the Gospel Ministry." On the cover page I noticed that it was sixteen years ago this month that I wrote out this assignment which, of course, was very subjective, being based on my personal experience.

At the time I wrote this paper, I was 23-year-old youth pastor who had been in full-time pastoral ministry not even a year. Reading the paper now, I can sense some youthful pride and immaturity in some of my testimony. Nevertheless, I smiled at the zeal and vigor that was evident, too. I was just starting out in my life's work, and I was so excited, I could hardly contain myself.

Sixteen years later, to the praise of God's grace, the fire has not abated. Over the years, God has continued to stoke the coals of my heart through life-changing, life-giving truth of His Word in the context of a ministry that constantly presents new challenges and opportunities for service. Yet what keeps the flame from getting out of control are manifold trials and temptations, as well as an ever-increasing awareness of my own deficiencies and insufficiency, all of which subdue my spirit and force me to come under the control of the Holy Spirit's tempering influence.

With that little "preface" out of the way, here's a copy of the paper I wrote, word-for-word:

There has never really been a doubt in my mind that I have been called to the Gospel ministry.

I was raised by godly parents in a Christian home and was saved at the age of four. Although my parents were not called to full-time ministry, they were godly lay persons who devoted much time, energy, and finances to the ministry of the local church. They would have missionaries and other guest speakers stay in our home at every available opportunity. This gave me a healthy exposure to life in the ministry. I was fascinated by missionaries' stories and loved to ask them about their work. My interest in the Gospel ministry was intensified by my own parents' interest and involvement.

By the time I entered my junior high years, I was already actively involved in various programs of our church (children's choir, Awana, etc.). But I really sensed the Lord's hand on my life the summer following my seventh grade year. I was maintaining a consistent, daily quiet time and memorizing much Scripture from my Word of Life Scripture memory packet. My parents, pastor, and youth leaders strongly encouraged me to enter Word of Life's Preacher Boys competition. I followed their advice and thoroughly enjoyed preparing my "very first sermon" over the next several months. By winning first place in the state and regional competition, I had the privilege of going up to Schroon Lake, New York, for the national competition. I finished fourth place and repeated my performance the following year. I realized that God had given me both a love and a gift for preaching His Word to others.

Throughout my high school years, I continued to participate in several different ministries of our local church as well as the Christian School which I attended. The three ministries that I enjoyed the most were the bus ministry, Vacation Bible School, and the nursing home ministry. These ministries were quite diverse and gave me broad exposure to all different areas of Christian service. The bus ministry allowed me to evangelize inner-city kids and their families, Vacacation Bible School gave me the opportunity to know and teach many children, and the nursing home ministry allowed me to meet some needs that older folks have. As I continued to serve the Lord in various capacities, He opened more doors for ministry, which helped me to further use and cultivate my God-given abilities for His glory.

Upon graduating from high school, I enrolled at Washington Bible College. The four years I spent there afforded me not only the opportunity to absorb enormous amounts of Bible knowledge and doctrine, but also the opportunity to use what I was learning in various ministries (campus evangelism, youth work, directing summer camp, etc.). I received a Bachelor of Arts degree from Washington Bible College with my major being Bible and my minor being Pastoral Ministries.

My whole life has been geared toward the Gospel ministry. No lightning bolt struck me from the sky. No dramatic experience or crisis drove me to the Lord's work. The continuous prompting of God's Holy Spirit in my own heart has given me the intense desire and inescapable obligation to serve my Lord and Savior in the Gospel ministry.

Well, there it is. In closing, let me say that while the Holy Spirit called me into ministry, He used two specific means of influence during my most formative years: (1) my parents' godly teaching and example; (2) my participation in the ministries of the local church. I pray that these two influencing factors would be prevalent in your home, so that regardless of what God calls your children to do in terms of their vocation, they will love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

And if you're a young person reading this, I pray that you will appreciate your parents' attempts to mold you into a man or woman of God. You may not always agree with them, but I hope that you will appreciate them. I pray, too, that you will not discount or neglect the role of the local church in your spiritual development but will take advantage of present opportunities to learn God's Word and to use the gifts that He has given you to serve others for His glory.

One Hour Last Sunday

Where were you last Sunday evening between 5:30 and 6:30? (Sounds like a question they would ask on Law and Order, huh?) I can tell you where twenty people were. They were gathered for prayer in the sanctuary of First Baptist Church. Here's what happened:

Eric Briscoe, who serves as one of our elders, began the meeting by drawing our attention to the first verse of Psalm 116: "I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy." If we are believers, there are many times that the Lord has heard our cries for mercy. But the initial cry was calling on Him to save us, much like the tax collector in Luke 18:13, who "standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me a sinner!'"

The next twenty minutes were spent doing nothing but thanking God for saving us. Multiple prayers were offered to God, one right after the other, each one being its own unique testimony of God's saving power. In hearing one another's prayers to God, we were blessed to learn how each one came to faith in Christ. Each story was different. Each account was precious.

Eric then took us back to Scripture, this time to Psalm 66:18: "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the LORD will not hear." We were reminded that sin hinders our prayers. Confession is therefore a big part of the Christian life. In his New Testament epistle, James reminds us that we are healed as we confess our sins and faults to one another and pray for one another (5:16). The congregation was encouraged to confess any known sins, and even to ask God to search their hearts, exposing any blind areas (Psalm 139:23-24). We could pray silently or allowed, however the Spirit of God led us. Many confessions were vocalized, and we realized that in one form or another, we are all guilty of many of the same sins. As we prayed, our confessions of sin were mingled with renewed thankfulness for God's forgiveness and mercy in Christ.

After this portion of our prayer time was ended, Eric asked for the names of five people who are unsaved and therefore in desperate need of God's saving mercy and grace. Immediately five names were shared, most of whom had heard the gospel but had yet to believe. Several fervent prayers were offered on their behalf, confident cries to God for their salvation.

One hour last Sunday, twenty souls joined their hearts together in thanksgiving to God for His awesome salvation ... poured out their hearts together in sincere and contrite confession ... and prayed with great fervor for the salvation of lost loved ones and friends. In the midst of it all, we were reminded just how great and merciful our Father in heaven is to us His children. We left on a spiritual high, more intimate with God and one another than we had been sixty minutes earlier.

All this took place one hour last Sunday, 5:30-6:30 p.m. How did you spend that hour?

The Superbowl, Brady, Belichick ... and Bread

Superbowl Sunday was marked by black Monday – at least here in Boston – as Patriot fans licked their gaping wounds from Sunday’s Super-disappointment. One gentleman sent me the following e-mail on Monday morning, which I have posted with his permission:

Good morning, Pastor Matt.
I have to confess, I am coming off a pretty much sleepless night. It is amazing to me how emotionally involved we can become in matters such as Super Bowl wins and losses. I need to find a way to disassociate myself from sports. I get so emotionally distraught when our "home teams" lose….primarily the big games. Have winning and sports become gods to us? Pastor Matt, I don’t understand how we can get so wrapped up in these things. The winning affects my life in no way at all other than the "good feeling" that accompanies rooting for the home team. The flip side seems so unbalanced.

Anyhow, I just thought I’d send you a note and ask that you somehow put this into perspective for me. No family member died…..no one got hurt….all are healthy and there are no debt collectors beating at the door…..and yet after the game, there was this giant sized hole/pain. Why do we take these matters so seriously? It’s silly really.. Have a great day.

I’m glad this brother wrote what most others are probably feeling but perhaps wouldn’t say. He raises some good questions, like why is it that we get so "emotionally distraught" over a simple game? Why do we take these matters so seriously? And perhaps the most important and revealing question of all: Have winning and sports become gods to us?

I think they have. After all, what is an idol but the object of our desires? "Worship is basically adoration, and we adore only what delights us" (John Piper, Desiring God, p. 19). Bear with me for a moment, as I paraphrase a few verses from the Psalms:

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for the Patriots. My soul thirsts for the Patriots, the undefeated Patriots. When can I go and watch the Patriots?"

"O Patriots, how sweet are your wins to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!"

"My soul thirsts for a Superbowl win, my flesh yearns for one, in a dry and weary land where there is no water."

My intent is not to be sacrilegious, but to engage in hyperbole for the sake of making a point. Isn’t it ridiculous that our enthusiasm and sentiments for a sports team comes even close to paralleling our affections for God?

The problem is not that we’re pursuing pleasure but that we’re trying to find it outside of God. The prophet Jeremiah put it like this:

"My people have exchanged their glory for that which does not profit. Be appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked, be utterly desolate," says the Lord; "for my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that hold not water." (Jer. 2:11-13)

Like C. S. Lewis said, "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

We settle for football instead of Christ. If it’s not football, then it’s something else: clothes, computer games, a higher income, the approval of others, a great sex life, etc. The tragedy is that we have seen our worship of God as something separate – and perhaps even in opposition to – our pursuit of happiness. This is what John Piper has rightly called "the moral enemy of worship." Says Piper, "When worship is reduced to disinterested duty, it ceases to be worship. For worship is a feast."

Isn’t this precisely the point that our compassionate Lord makes in Isaiah 55:2, when He says, "Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food." You see, "the great hindrance to worship is not that we are a pleasure-seeking people, but that we are willing to settle for such pitiful pleasures" (Piper). We think that football or sex or popularity or more money or a better marriage or physical fitness or the affirmation of others can satisfy the longings of our soul. The fact is, they can’t; only Christ can.

Even those who "follow Christ" must be careful to seek their pleasure in HIM, and not just His gifts. Remember what Jesus told the crowds when they followed Him after He fed the five thousand? He said, "I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval" (John 6:26-27 NIV).

Rather than seeing Jesus as the object of their desires, they saw Him only as a means of fulfilling their wants. Recently I read an outstanding lesson on John 6 by Paul David Tripp in his book, The War of Words. In a chapter entitled "Following the King for All the Wrong Reasons," he asked: "If you had to write down your dream for your life, what would you write? What is your ‘if only,’ ‘if I could just have,’ ‘if God would just give me. . . then I would be happy?’"

Think about that for a second. What would your answer to that question be?

Tripp goes on to share insights from John 6, centering on our struggle between physical bread and spiritual bread: "In the middle of this struggle is the Deceiver, who would have us believe that life is all about physical bread, that spiritual things are of little consequence." Tripp then goes on to share four subtle but persuasive lies that Satan puts before us. Time and space forbid me from expounding on all four lies, but they all culminate in the fourth deception, which is: Life is found in physical bread. Read carefully Tripp’s comments on this vital point. It will be well worth your time:

This is the lie of lies–that somehow, some way, life can be found outside of a relationship with God. This was the lie told by the Deceiver in the Garden, and it is the lie told countless times again every day. Feeding on physical bread only leads to more hunger. It is only as you feed on Christ by faith, receiving his life, that you can ever be satisfied. He is the Bread. He is life! All other offers of life outside of Christ lead parched people to drink at dry wells. He is the True Bread. He is the river of life. Follow him and within you will flow rivers of living water (John 4:13-14). Without him you are dead, even though you physically live (Eph. 2:1-10).

It is so easy to buy into the lie that life can be found in human acceptance, possessions, and positions. It is so easy to have your life controlled by dreams of success in your career. It is so easy to believe that nothing else satisfies like romantic love. It is so easy to fall into pursuing the idol images of Western culture–big suburban house, luxurious car, lavish vacations, etc. When we do this, we quit feeding on Christ. Our devotional life begins to suffer. We pray less, and when we do, we pray more selfishly. We find our schedule doesn’t leave much time for ministry, and we spend more time with our colleagues at work than we do with brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. Functionally, we are feeding on the world’s bread, not on Christ.

Our entire life will be determined by which bread we pursue. There are no more dangerous lies than the ones that lead us away from a loving hope and surrender to the Creator we cannot see, and toward a bondage to an endless, unsatisfying pursuit of what is passing away....

We fall into spiritual depression when [Christ] removes the physical bread so that we would hunger again for the Bread that really satisfies....

To the degree that you have based your life on something other than the Lord, to that degree God’s love and the hope of the gospel will not comfort you. You will not be comforted because you are hungry for another kind of bread. You long for a king who will give you the bread you crave....

As we look at our own lives and all that we are living for, we need to ask, Whose dream, which bread do we seek?...

Perhaps many of us, even though we have not physically forsaken the King, have lost our enthusiasm for his grace and mercy because following him has not led to the fulfillment of our dreams....

This can be something as "silly" as a Superbowl win or something more subtle but just as superficial. You can find your satisfaction in physical bread, or you can find it in Christ, the living Bread. You can pursue your own dream, what you think will make you happy – or you can pursue Christ and His dream for you -- "the good portion, which will not be taken away from [you]" (Luke 10:42).

Teaching Good Manners: Part 5

This fifth and final segment of Teaching Good Manners are general tips that cover a variety of situations. These can be found on pages 132-133 in the book, Disciplines of a Godly Family, by Kent and Barbara Hughes:

1. Knock before you enter a room if the door is closed.
2. If you chew gum in public, do it discreetly and with your mouth closed.
3. Return everything you borrow in the same condition as when you received it, or better.
4. If you lose or break something you have borrowed, even from a relative, replace it.
5. Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough.
6. Teach your sons to show deference to the opposite sex and the elderly. Encourag ethem to offer to help you (the mother), or any woman, bring in the groceries or packages. Instruct them to unhesitatingly offer their seat to a woman or someone in need in a crowded public place. When walking with a female, boys should walk on the side closest to the street. They should help women and girls with their chair at the table and should open doors for them as well. Although a few women may think such actions are insulting or condescending, we have found that most women appreciate the courtesy.
7. Return telephone calls. (Fletcher’s footnote: Reply to personal e-mail messages, too, provided that they come from a trusted source.)
8. Promptly pay back money you borrow – even a quarter.
9. Be respectful of national flags.
10. Be patient with service people who may find it difficult or confusing counting change or taking your order.
11. Teach your children how to behave with the handicapped. Discreetly explain why they may be different, but teach your children they are just like them, and certainly equals. Explain why most public places have wheelchair ramps and bathroom facilities designed to help the disabled. Instruct your children not to speak in a louder tone of voice to a handicapped person unless the person suggests it, and forbid them to stare. Teach them to treat the handicapped like everyone else, as naturally as possible. Above all, encourage your children not to shy away from conversation with handicapped people.

Manners do not make the man or woman. The radical reorientation that says “my life for your life” can only come from the regenerating work of Christ, who instills his life and ethic in us. Nevertheless, manners teach the need for and complement the character that Christ’s life gives. Lives that say “my life for yours” are channels of God’s grace to a needy world.

Teaching Good Manners: Part 4

The other day I listened to a lecture by Tedd Tripp on reaching the hearts of our children, not just reforming their behavior. Amidst many humorous, down-to-earth illustrations, Dr. Tripp reinforced that oft-ignored scriptural truth: Heart determines behavior.

So in teaching this mini-series on manners, we have emphasized from the outset the importance of addressing the heart issues that are involved. Our children must understand from Scripture that they were created for God’s glory and that our lives are to revolve around Him, not ourselves. Our kids must come to know the grace of God in Christ, that they might experience that grace for themselves and have that grace flow from their hearts and into the lives of those around them. As adults, we should remember that good manners are caught, not just taught. To teach our children in the ways of God, we must walk the walk ourselves and not just talk the talk.

Speaking of which, we addressed the issue of speech in our last posting. Jesus said, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matt. 12:34). Words have a way of revealing what’s in the heart. If we as parents will listen carefully to what our kids say, their words will give us a clue as to the spiritual climate of their hearts. As we shepherd their hearts and they respond to our shepherding, we will see a transformation in the way they talk. The progress will be slow and painstaking at times, but steady. In addition to shepherding their hearts, we also have to teach them the right way to talk. That is to say, they may have a zeal for God-honoring speech, but not according to knowledge! So we need to teach them proper manners in terms of saying "please," "thank you," "pardon me," etc., as well as how to introduce people properly and how to respond when spoken to, especially by an adult.

Continuing on with these "practical pointers," we now turn our attention to table manners. Once again, I have adapted this material from Kent and Barbara Hughes’ book, Disciplines of a Godly Family. They are right in saying that every member of the family should know and practice basic table etiquette. So here we go. . .

Setting the Table
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that the only time to set a nice table is when company is coming. That’s not to say that you should bring out your finest dishes or silverware for everyday dining but that the basic lay-out should be the same, conveying the importance and anticipation of the family meal.
The table should be set as follows: The fork is placed to the left of the plate. The knife goes to the right of the plate, with the cutting edge facing the plate. The spoon is placed directly to the right of the knife. If a soup spoon will be needed, it is placed to the right of the teaspoon, and a salad fork is placed at the left of the dinner fork. The glass is placed just above the point of the knife. The bread plate or salad plate (or both if needed) is placed directly above the forks and to the left. The napkin may be placed to the left of the forks or in the middle of the dinner plate.
Taking the time to teach your children how to set a table is time well spent. They will thank you someday!

Setting the Scene
Once the table is set, it’s nice to add a centerpiece. It can be flowers, fresh fruit, a loaf of freshly baked bread, or simply a nice candle. A centerpiece is that extra touch that says "our times together around the table is special." Perhaps some soft music in the background may even be appropriate.
(Fletcher’s footnote: Some of you are already laughing and saying, "Yeah, right." But let me tell you that it is possible for this to be a more-often-than-not occurrence. My mother did it, and my wife does it. And when Ruthie isn’t around, my daughter Megan does it! In fact, even I usually do it, though not as capably. It’s simply a matter of working at it. And it really does help to create a comfortable and homey atmosphere at mealtime.)

Dinner Is Served
Dinnertime with children is an opportune time for training. But this demands lots of patience and gentle consistency. A sense of humor doesn’t hurt, either! Here is a basic list of what to do and what not to do at mealtime:
1. Come to the table with hands and face washed.
2. Give thanks to God.
3. Place your napkin in your lap.
4. Wait till everyone is served and the hostess begins to eat before you begin. (Fletcher’s footnote: This is a challenge for our family! Believe it or not, our youngest child Timothy does the best at remembering this particular courtesy!)
5. Don’t put your elbows on the table while eating or encircle your plate with your arms resting on the table. (Fletcher’s footnote: When I was a kid and would put my elbows on the table, my dad would always say, "Matthew Fletcher, strong and able – get those elbows off the table! This is not a horse’s stable! This is Fletchers’ dining table!" I think I heard that about 748 times growing up, but hey, in the end it worked! I rarely if ever rest my elbows or arms on the table!)
6. Never say anything negative about the food.
7. When the food is passed, serve yourself small to medium portions.
8. Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
9. Don’t reach in front of another person for food. Simply ask, "Please pass the potatoes."
10. Don’t blow on your food f it is too hot; just wait till it cools down.
11. Learn to hold a knife and fork properly.
12. When you have finished eating, place your knife and fork atop the plate side by side.
13. Fold your napkin, and put it on the table.
14. Offer to help your mother clear the table.
15. Ask to be excused.

Mealtime Conversation
Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." I used to have this verse taped to the base of my telephone as a helpful reminder! Whether or not we post it on our telephone or table, this verse should be stamped on our hearts. Mealtime is a terrific opportunity to administer grace to those seated around you. With that in mind, here are some helpful tips regarding "table talk":
1. Listen. When you are at the table, be fully there. You can’t contribute to a conversation you haven’t been listening to.
2. Learn to ask questions. Don’t wait for someone to direct the conversation toward you.
3. Don’t talk while chewing.
4. Has a family member had a bad day? Give a word of encouragement.
5. Don’t dominate the conversation. Allow others to participate in the discussion.
6. If a dinner guest is shy, look for ways to graciously draw them into the conversation.
7. If conversation is lagging, bring up a new topic, like: "Our class is going on a field trip this Friday!"
8. Don’t interrupt.
9. Thank the cook!

Next time we’ll wrap up this series with some general guidelines for being a good houseguest and to show proper etiquette in a variety of situations. Remember to start with the heart and work your way out! Commit these things to prayer, and practice being a good example. Above all, don’t get disheartened or discouraged! Instead, "be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord" (1 Cor. 15:58).

Teaching Good Manners: Part 3

In Part One of this series, we emphasized from the Scriptures that the heart determines behavior. Therefore, our aim as parents should not be mere reformation on the outside but true transformation on the inside. As we shepherd the hearts of our children in the ways of God according to His Word and in reliance on His Spirit, we can be sure that the good that is taking place on the inside will work its way to the outside.

In Part Two, we emphasized four key scriptural principles that are indispensable in teaching our kids good manners. First, we have to teach them that they are not the center of the universe; God is. Everything we do is ultimately for His glory. Life revolves around the Lord, not us. Second, we want to help them to discover the personal joy that courtesy brings. When we seek to be a blessing to others, we ourselves are blessed. (It helps to think of JOY as an acrostic: Jesus, Others, You. When we make this our pattern, God is pleased, and we are blessed.) Third, we as parents should set the example (see 1 Cor. 11:1; Phil. 4:9). Fourth, teaching ordinary, everyday etiquette to our children takes disciplined effort on our part as parents. Consistency is key!

A great place to start is with speech. As was noted in Part One, what comes out of a person's mouth indicates what's in his heart. As Jesus put it, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matt. 12:34). Again, we cannot emphasize enough that our goal as parents is to reach the hearts of our children! Keeping that in mind, we can point out to them by their words what they need to work on in terms of their heart attitude. For instance, our words may reflect a spirit of ingratitude or disrespect or insensitivity. These are the heart issues that need to be addressed. We should always point to Christ as our pattern (Phil. 2:5) and power (Phil. 4:13) in overcoming bad habits and developing proper etiquette.

Below is a summary of showing good manners in reference to our speech. They are adapted from Disciplines of a Godly Family, by Kent and Barbara Hughes:

Courteous Words
Ever since I was old enough to remember, my parents ingrained in me that "magic word" -- Please -- as well as its corresponding expression of gratitude: Thank You. These words are so simple to learn, and they are so important to use! Even children that can't speak in complete sentences can learn these simple words of courtesy. Parents can reinforce their importance by never responding to an screaming demand or even an uncourteous request. Show your kids that courtesy is the way to get positive consideration. In addition to teaching them terms like "please" and "thank you," train them to use other common courteous expressions such as "you're welcome," "pardon me," etc.

Introductions
When it comes to introducing people, always say the older person's name before the younger, and the woman's name before the man. These should be prioritized in that order, assuming the age difference is obvious. "Grandma, I'd like you to meet my friend Johnny." "Mr. Smith, I'd like you to meet my cousin Rebecca."
If you forget the name of the person when introducing someone, simply say, "I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name."
Young children can easily be taught how to respond when their parents introduce them to new people. They should be taught to stand, look the person in the eye, and respond with something like, "Nice to meet you."
Boys should understand that when they are introduced to other males, they should smile and extend their hand, firmly shaking hands while greeting the other with "Hi" or "Nice to meet you" or some other friendly expression. Boys should never shake the hand of a girl or woman unless she extends it to him.

I remember as a kid watching The Muppets TV show. My two favorite characters were those grouchy old men that would make wise-cracks from the balcony. Unfortunately, they weren't very good examples when it came to courteous speech! Nevertheless, The Muppet Guide to Magnificent Manners neatly lists some very helpful tips for children learning to converse. I've also attached some corresponding Bible references to show their consistency with Scripture:

1. Try not to interrupt. If you must, say, "Excuse me for interrupting, but. . ." (Fletcher's footnote: Even better than this rule, I like the "Interrupt Rule" that Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo teach in their course, Growing Kids God's Way. When breaking into their parents' conversation with someone else, children are taught to rest their hand on their parent's arm or shoulder. That signals to the parent that his/her child wants to say something. The child is taught to wait patiently until the parent responds. We taught this when our kids were little, and we were amazed at the impression it made on those to whom we were speaking!)
2. Don't brag or exaggerate. (Romans 12:3; 1 Corinthians 4:7)
3. Don't pretend to know more than you do. (Prov. 12:13, 22; 18:2)
4. When someone compliments you, say "Thank you." Don't belittle the other person ... or get a swelled head. (2 Cor. 10:12-13)
5. Don't finish other people's sentences for them.
6. If you give an opinion, state it as such, not as fact.
7. If you disagree with someone else's opinion, don't say, "You're wrong" or "You're crazy." Say something like "Do you think so? I don't see it like that." (Fletcher's footnote: Of course if a person's opinion is contrary to Scripture, we have the responsibility to "speak the truth in love" - Eph. 4:15. But when we're talking about personal opinions, we have to acknowledge the legitimacy of differing viewpoints and preferences.)

Certainly more common courtesies in reference to speech could be added. Negatively, we should teach our kids not to gossip, tattle, whisper secrets in front of others, criticize or make fun of people, etc. Positively, we should teach them to cheerfully greet others, answer when they're spoken to, always address adults by their proper titles (Mr., Mrs., Miss, etc.).

Of course even more could be added, but you get the idea. As we address heart attitudes, we can also work on using words that can best reflect what should be a positive heart attitude. Some may have a zeal for good manners, but not according to knowledge! So let us be sure to give some helpful guidelines while emphasizing God-honoring attitudes of the heart.

Next time we'll talk about cultivating good table manners! We could probably all use a refresher course on that!

Teaching Good Manners: Part 2

If there's one point we emphasized in Part 1 of this series, it was that the goal of godly parenting is not mere behavior modification but heart transformation. That's what we're after, because that's what God is after. Our Lord Jesus said in Luke 6:45, "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."

One of the parents in her comments on the last posting made reference to Ted Tripp's book, Shepherding a Child's Heart. The first key thought of the book is: The heart determines behavior. Certainly this includes speech, as Jesus indicated in Luke 6:45. But it goes beyond that to include all sorts of behavior (see Mark 7:21-23). What we say and do on the outside is but a reflection of what's really on the inside. Therefore, teaching good manners begins with the training of the heart.

What's the goal of every Christian? To glorify God by becoming like Christ. The apostle Paul set forth the example of Christ as the basis for being considerate of others when he said, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 2:4-5). Self-sacrificing love is at the heart of good manners.

It's important to remember, too, that Christ is not only our pattern; He is also our power. After telling believers to follow the example of Christ, Paul says Christians can do this, "for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure" (Phil. 2:13). In Christ we find both the pattern and the power to do what is right!

So it all begins with the heart. Children, like adults, are by nature self-centered. But in Christ we are able to put the interests of others before our own.

Now, with this in mind, how can we as parents consciously teach and train our children to have good manners? Let me start off with four basic elements offered by Kent and Barbara Hughes in their helpful book, Disciplines of a Godly Family:

1. Teach your children that they are not the center of the universe; God is. Everything they have, even life itself, is a gift from God. The Scriptures command all God's children to be grateful people who perpetually give thanks (1 Thess. 5:18; Phil. 4:6; Rom. 1:21). Self-pity and egocentricity are telltale signs of a self-centered, grouchy heart. Manners move us away from self.
2. Help your children discover that courtesy brings joy. We can find genuine pleasure in helping those in need, whether it's an elderly woman needing assistance across the street or the person seated across the dinner table whose glass needs filling.
3. Set the example. Be gracious yourself. Let your example include being courteous to your own children when correcting their manners. Don't embarrass them. (Fletcher's footnote: This issue of parents being an example was another issue that was raised in people's comments on the last posting. The influence of our own example cannot be underestimated! How can we teach our children to be gracious if we ourselves our rude? Good manners must begin with us!)
4. Understand that teaching ordinary, everyday etiquette will take disciplined work on your part.

Good manners are not developed with a passive "let go and let God" kind of mentality. No, it is precisely because we have the power of Christ within us that we are to give ourselves vigorously to this endeavor. Paul himself said, "To this end I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily" (Col. 1:29). There you have it: a personal effort that is fueled by God's energy. Well-mannered believers make a conscious, deliberate effort to serve others conscientiously and consistently by the power of God for the glory of God.

Next time we'll delve into the specific area of speech. Between now and then, how about reading Philippians 2 with your children? Talk about the example of Christ and how we can pursue His likeness in this area by allowing the Lord to fill our hearts with His love and power? You can even point out, as Paul did, how Timothy and Epaphroditus did this (see verses 19-30), then think of ways in which you and your kids can demonstrate selfless service in your own lives.

May the grace of God go to work in your hearts and in your home as you obey His Word in the power of His Holy Spirit!

Teaching Good Manners: Part 1

Agur, an ancient sage who lived around the time of King Solomon, decried the lack of respect, purity, humility, and sensitivity that he saw among his own peers or the younger generation of his day. His observations are recorded in Proverbs 30:11-14:

There is a generation that curses its father,
And does not bless its mother.
There is a generation that is pure in its own eyes,
Yet is not washed from its filthiness.
There is a generation -- oh, how lofty are their eyes!
And their eyelids are lifted up [in arrogance].
There is a generation whose teeth are like swords,
And whose fangs are like knives,
To devour the poor from off the earth,
And the needy from among men.

In commenting on this text, John MacArthur writes, "These proverbs condemn various forms of unwise behavior and are connected with this common phrase which points to the fact that certain sins can permeate a whole society or time period." Indeed, we are this very day living "in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom [we as Christians] shine as lights in the world" (Phil. 2:15). Therefore, as Christians, we do not want to be characterized by the same traits as the unbelieving world. Paul writes in Ephesians 5:3, "Let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints."

If you look at the Proverbs text, you'll note that the deplorable conduct of an ungodly generation includes:
- disrespect toward parents
- self-righteous attitude ("pure in its own eyes") that refuses to admit fault or failure
- mean-spirited and hurtful words toward others
- preoccupation with self that causes them to be insensitive to -- and even take advantage of -- the less fortunate.

Now let me ask you a question: How many of your own kids struggle with these things?

Let me answer that question for you: They all do. Why? Because it is their natural inclination as sinners! Yet by God's grace they can belong to "the generation of the upright" (Psalm 112:2), who show their fear of God and faith in God through their conduct toward others!

That's what I want to address over the next several blogs. I want to talk about reclaiming good manners among our children. This presupposes salvation in Christ, for it does no good to try to reform our kids on the outside if they have not been regenerated on the inside. "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new" (2 Cor. 5:17, emphasis added). Our mandate as Christian parents is to "tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, His power, and the wonders He has done. . . . so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children" (Psalm 78:4, 6; emphasis added).

The training of our children begins and ends with God, for without Him we can do nothing (John 15:5), yet with Him all things are possible (Matt. 19:26).

Within the next day or so, I'll write "part two" of this series, getting into this whole subject of good manners. But before I write or you read anything further, why not spend some time in prayer, asking the Lord to do a work in your heart and that of your children? Remember, what we're after is not mere behavior modification but true heart transformation. Jesus said, "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you" (John 15:7). Parents, let's claim our kids for God! Let's lift them up in prayer, asking God to be glorified in their lives! For those of you who think your kids are too far gone, ask God for the impossible! After all, He "is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or think, according to the power that works in us" (Eph. 3:20). Let that power go to work in you and your kids! Unleash that power through prayer.

Do that today. And by tomorrow or the next day, we'll move on to some practical pointers.

Calling on the Lord

We are six days into our Week of Prayer here at First Baptist Church. Each day a different member of our church family has shared a devotional to encourage us in our prayers. Today's devotional was submitted by Dana Edwards, who has been here at First Baptist since his birth! The same is true of Dana's wife, Leanne. Both have been actively serving the Lord here for many, many years in various capacities. Currently, Dana teaches an adult Bible School class and participates in our monthly nursing home ministries, among other things. Leanne serves as a deaconess and teaches a children's Bible School class. The Lord has blessed Dana and Leanne with four children: Ben, Celia, Jake, and Kaitlyn. In today's article, Dana shares what the Lord has taught him about calling on His name.

I work in advertising as an art director. Advertising is a very deadline-driven field. It seems that nobody really plans ahead and the art director is always designing at the eleventh hour to save everyone’s bacon.

There was a nine-year stretch in my career where I worked on my own. I was a freelancer. I had a mixture of ad agencies and my own clients for whom I worked. I was a one-person operation. Whatever work needed to be done, I was the one that had to do it.

There was a specific lesson the Lord had to teach me five or six times before I grasped what I was supposed to learn. Every once in a while I would have more than one job that needed to be completed on the same impossible deadline. I would immediately go to work designing. And worrying. As the deadlines drew closer and closer, the effort and the anxiety grew greater and greater. It seemed like the clock on the wall was really a fan.

Finally, when it was certain that I would never be enough time to finish all the work, I would call out to the Lord and say something like “Lord, you’ve got to do something here. It’s humanly impossible for me to accomplish what needs to be done.” Each of those half dozen or so times, the phone rang within half an hour with a client on the phone explaining that something came up that was going to push back the schedule. Each time, I found myself laughing in delight and praising the Lord for His goodness.

I believe there were two primary lessons the Lord wanted to teach me through these experiences. First, the Lord wanted me to know I could call on Him in the day of trouble and He would answer me. That His ear was inclined toward me and he delighted in meeting my need because that would bring Him honor. Psalm 86: 4-7 says “Make glad the soul of Your servant, For to You, O LORD, I lift up my soul. For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You. Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer; And give heed to the voice of my supplications! In the day of my trouble I shall call upon You, for You will answer me.”

The second lesson he wanted me to grasp (and this is the one that I didn’t learn until the last time) was that I didn’t have to wait until the last possible minute to call on Him. I finally realized that I could call on the Lord the minute I was aware that the schedule would be tight. That He would give me the peace of the Spirit in the beginning, middle an end of the trial. What a difference it was to call on Him at the start and enjoy His presence through the whole process instead of just at the last second.

Oh what peace we often forfeit,
Oh what needless pain we bear --
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer.
–Joseph M. Scriven

Sweet Hour of Prayer

Today's devotional was submitted by Ed Chisam, who serves as Chairman of the Deacons at First Baptist Church. Eddie's wife, April, also serves as one of our deaconesses. Eddie and April are expecting their first child, and they are grateful to God for His precious gift. In today's blog, Eddie shares a word of exhortation from the Psalms, blending its theme with a testimony from the life of William Walford, who wrote the much-beloved hymn, Sweet Hour of Prayer. This has special relevance to us as a congregation at this particular time, as we have been meeting each evening to spend an hour before God's throne throughout this Week of Prayer. We thank Eddie for sharing this encouraging devotional, which I'm sure will bless and strengthen your heart.

When we meet together to pray, we stir each other up to praise God's holy name. To help reflect upon the Lord's faithfulness and love towards us, I often read some of the Psalms, which help to stimulate a prayerful spirit.

Last night, I read Psalm 146, which teaches us to place our trust in the Lord:

Praise the LORD. Praise the LORD, O my soul. I will praise the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.
Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them— the LORD, who remains faithful forever.
He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The LORD sets prisoners free, the LORD gives sight to the blind, the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down, the LORD loves the righteous. The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
The LORD reigns forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations. Praise the LORD.

An example of a man who trusted in the Lord was one William Walford, a blind pastor who lived in England in the 1800's. Though he was blind, the Lord gave him an uncommon insight. He memorized large portions of scripture, which he would quote verbatim during his sermons. Walford composed musicial verses of praise. And he prayed continuously to the Lord.

Some in the world may have pitied William Walford, because he could not see. But God loved him, and loved to hear his prayers, and blessed his ministry. Thomas Salmon, from New York, spent some time with William Walford. One day, William Walford recited a song he had been working on, and Thomas Salmon copied down the verses. Today, we sing his song, "Sweet Hour of Prayer", which is a fitting composition from a man who drew such great strength and joy from his time of prayer with the Lord:

Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer!
That calls me from a world of care,
And bids me at my Father's throne
Make all my wants and wishes known.
In seasons of distress and grief,
My soul has often found relief
And oft escaped the tempter's snare
By thy return, sweet hour of prayer!

A Hole in the Shoe and our Heavenly Father

During this Week of Prayer at First Baptist Church, we are hearing from various folks in our congregation regarding their own journey in the discipline of prayer. Today's contribution comes from Linda McMorrow, who serves as a deaconess and has been a member of First Baptist Church for many, many years, along with her two sons, Chris and Paul. Here is Linda's testimony that she wanted to share with our readership:

Is there anyone out there in trouble and bewildered? Is there anyone out there in pain? I want you to know that the Lord God is aware of all the details of your problems. In fact, if you belong to God as His child, your problems have been designed and sent by Him.

Now, what do we do? If we know God is sovereign over all our affairs, it makes sense to go to the One who sees trouble coming from afar off and who provides for a solution at the same time.
Once I was on my way to work on a dismal day, fragile in spirit and physical strength. My problems that miserable March day were a hole in my shoe and the prospect of a long walk through the slushy city streets, a cold and wet foot for the day, and a daunting assignment. I pleaded with the Lord my Heavenly Father all the way into the city to rescue His pathetic daughter somehow. The prospects looked dim.

After parking my car and getting out, I opened the rear door to retrieve my work equipment. To my everlasting delight, I saw on the opposite floorboard a pair of Eddie Bauer boots, top of the line! I later found out that my son's friend Brad had "accidentally" forgotten to take them home after a sleepover. They fit me perfectly and I walked on glory clouds to my destination. To top it off, when I got to my assignment I was told by the receptionist that the job was canceled. I was able to go home that day which is where I needed to be. I marveled at what a tenderhearted Father I had and I often think back to His precious provision in answer to those whining prayers of mine. God's solution was already in place for me the whole wretched time and I didn't even know it! So be exceedingly glad. The Lord delights in you. He has already answered your prayer and, in due time, it will be revealed to you.

"But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:19).

"He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted me" (Psalm 18:19).

Living Double Lives

As I mentioned in yesterday's posting, this week we are featuring different articles submitted by members of our congregation at First Baptist Church as part of our Week of Prayer emphasis. Today's posting was contributed by Brendan Burke, who serves as one of our deacons. Brendan and his wife Julie have been part of the First Baptist Church family for a few years, and during this time the Lord has blessed them with a beautiful daughter, Elizabeth. In today's devotional, Brendan shares with us as believers the importance of being fully devoted followers of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Jesus said, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it” (Luke 9:23-24).

After Christ came into my life, the Holy Spirit showed me what this text meant. The more I turned from my old sinful ways, the more true joy and peace I would find. This is only found in our new life in Christ.

The apostle Paul reminds us, “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory” (Col. 3:3-4).

Meditate on these words. We should have only one life and it ought to be hidden in Christ Jesus. Isn’t this one of the first steps of our Christian walk: Recognizing that we are not our own, but that we are God’s. We have been bought with a price. I believe we lack a great deal of peace in our lives because of the way we approach God each day. We can go through the motions of a daily quiet time: read the Word and say a quick prayer. All the while we plan our day and decide our own agendas. We forget the rest of Colossians 3:17, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Did you get that? Whatever. That means everything. Do not forget that when you lose your life you will find it. If God was big enough to save you from your sins as you trusted him for your salvation, which is for eternity, surely you can trust him when your day is simply not going very well. Do not forget that Jesus is the potter and we are the clay. Let Jesus mold you into something beautiful. Jesus was one with the Father. He trusted him even to the point of shedding His own blood. But look at the beautiful results from Christ’s life. Colossians 3:15 says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” If we are trying to hold on to our old self we will never find true peace. Is there anything attractive about someone who lives hypocritically? How quickly we can recognize when someone’s actions don’t line up with their words. Why then do we think it is acceptable when it comes to our walks with God? Please read Colossians3 in its entirety. It is a good chapter to put to memory.

We are not here to serve ourselves. “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship” (Rom. 12:1).

If you believe the Bible is God's Word, please take Jesus at His word. Acts 2:42 says, “They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.”

God has not changed. He will still hear our prayers if we cry out to him. Like it says in Hebrews 12:1-2 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

God, Our Source of Help and Hope

Throughout this Week of Prayer at First Baptist Church, I have decided to post testimonies and devotionals on prayer from various folks in our congregation. I pray that these contributions will bless and encourage you in your own prayer efforts as you read them.

Today's contribution is by Ellen Capozzi, who along with her husband Joe, have been part of the FBC family for about a year and a half. They both teach Bible School classes and are devoted to the Lord and His Church. Here is what Ellen has to say regarding her own education in the school of prayer:

When I was a new Christian I loved reading and studying my Bible, but I didn't pray much, if at all. I would call my sister or Pastor any time I had a problem, once even in the middle of the night. After a while, the Lord not so subtly was trying to teach me to come to Him, and not to put my hope in people to rescue me from my troubles. For a long time either no one was available to help me, or they totally let me down. My favorite verse at the time was Psalm 108:12- "Give us aid against the enemy, for the help of man is worthless."

I'm so thankful that the Lord was so patient to teach me to pray, and so faithful and gracious to answer my prayers through the years. Truly "He is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble" (Psalm 46:1). Now I know that people can help me only as God helps them.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him" (Psalm 62:5).

Make Believe

One of a parents’ greatest joys on Christmas morning is watching their children open up their presents. The most “excited” age group tends to be that which lies between the toddler and teen years, when a child's glee over gifts seems to be at its zenith. The air is filled with laughter as girls play with their new dolls and boys conquer the universe with their action figures. Many games and adventures are enjoyed by our children as they utilize one of God’s greatest gifts--imagination.

About thirty years ago, when my siblings and I were caught up in our own imaginary world, my father took notice of our fanciful fun and wrote a poem about it. In essence, Dad's poem reminds us of the role that imagination plays and the importance of keeping it in its proper place. The poem is entitled "Make Believe." I've thought of this poem many times over the years while watching my own kids play in their little world of "let's pretend." I hope that you, too, will enjoy the poem and take its message to heart.

I often watch my children play,
And how amazed am I that they
Are occupied for hours on end
With games that start with “Let’s pretend.”

They play at “house”, they play at “store”;
They play at “school”, they play at “war”.
They play at “cops and robbers”, too;
There’s nothing little minds can’t do.

Yes, “let’s pretend” contributes joy
To every little girl and boy;
And drab and dull would childhood be,
If it were not for fantasy.

The thought that weighs upon my mind
Is: Some don’t leave those years behind.
Concerning things “beyond the veil”,
They still let fantasy prevail.

They make believe there is no hell;
They make believe their souls are well;
They reason, under false pretense,
That works will be their sure defense.

Behold, the final, fearful end
Of those, like babes, who still pretend!
For in eternal things, you see,
There is no room for fantasy.

For fantasy oft times conflicts
With that which God on high edicts;
And fiction from the days of youth
Must not displace the written truth.

Because the Bible doth reveal
That mankind’s need for Christ is real.
Imagination has a role,
But not in matters of the soul.

And what of you, good Christian friend?
Do you serve God, or just pretend?
Do you the Holy Spirit grieve,
By service only “make believe”?

How Has God Magnified His Word Above His Name?

This morning I was reading Psalm 138 and came across an intriguing statement: "You have magnified Your word above all Your name."

If you think through the implications of this statement, then you can see why it’s so intriguing. God’s name speaks of His great power and majesty, His perfect character and utter holiness. His is the name which is above every name (Phil. 2:9). Since God’s name represents His person, how can anything – including God’s word – be magnified above His name?

To answer this question, we must go to the context in which this statement occurs. Psalm 138 is written by David, after having been delivered from a difficult or perilous situation. Here are the first three verses of the psalm in their entirety:

I will praise You with my whole heart;
Before the gods I will sing praises to You.
I will worship toward Your holy temple, and praise Your name
For Your lovingkindness and Your truth;
For You have magnified Your word above all Your name.
In the day when I cried out,
You answered me,
And made me bold with strength in my soul.


So the context has to do with God’s faithfulness to His servant. Other gods (notice the small ‘g’) are everywhere, but David worships the one true God - the God who has been true to His word. God did not only do what He said He would do, but a whole lot more. Through the abundant fulfillment of His promise to David, God showed Himself to be more than what David had already thought Him to be.

Along these same lines, it may also be said that this demonstration of God’s faithfulness surpassed all previous revelation concerning Himself. This would be very consistent with David’s prayer in 2 Samuel 7, which he gave after receiving the Davidic promise. In verses 21-22, David prayed, "For Your word’s sake, and according to Your own heart, You have done all these great things, to make Your servant know them. Therefore You are great, O Lord God. For there is none like You, nor is there any God besides You, according to all that we have heard with our ears." God, through His faithfulness, showed Himself to be even greater than that which had been previously revealed to His people. In this way, He magnified His word above all His name.

There’s a third and final sense in which this statement might be interpreted, and this is in reference to Christ Himself. What if this statement, like so many others in the Psalms, is Messianic in nature? That is to say, perhaps it has an immediate reference and application to David’s present circumstances as well as an ultimate reference and application to the Lord Jesus Christ. If "Your Word" in Psalm 138:2 refers to the Incarnate Word, then it means that God has magnified His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, above every other manifestation of Himself. Consider the following Scriptures:

John 1:14, 18 - "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. No one has seen God at any time. The only begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, He has declared Him."

Colossians 1:15 - "He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation."

Hebrews 1:1-4 - ""God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son. . . who being the brightness of His glory and the express image of His person, and upholding all things by the word of His power, when He had by Himself purged our sins, sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become so much better than the angels, as He by inheritance obtained a more excellent name than they."


The name of Jesus Christ is indeed the name "that is above every name" (Phil. 2:9). Now this is pretty exciting stuff, but it gets better! Second Corinthians 3:18 says, "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." The mirror is the Word of God. As we go to the Bible, we see Jesus revealed in all His splendor. We don’t see Jesus simply in the light of His moral beauty – and certainly not His manly beauty (Isa. 53:2) – but in His present glory, exalted at the Father's right hand (Phil. 2:9-11; Col. 1:15-18; 1 Tim. 6:15-16; Heb. 1:1-13; Rev. 1).

If all this were not astounding enough, there is yet another glorious reality expressed in 2 Corinthians 3:18. Did you catch it? Paul says that as we behold the glory of Christ in Scripture, we "are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." Herein lies the secret to Christian holiness: Preoccupation with Christ as revealed in Scripture. The more we truly come to know Him, the more we become truly like Him.

Granted, this transformation is not automatic or immediate, but gradual. As we let the Word of Christ dwell in us richly (Col. 3:16), our lives increasingly reflect His glory. What a great incentive to study God’s Word! May we give ourselves to this worthy endeavor, knowing that God has exalted His Word above all His name!

Ministering to Children: A Lesson from the Life of Robert Murray M'Cheyne

This past Tuesday, we enjoyed yet another Christmas program put on by the students of First Baptist Christian School. How great it is to hear kids sing out with all their hearts to the Lord. Children are such a blessing! I wonder how many of us adults seek to bless them?

Some years back, I read Andrew Bonar's biographical work on Robert Murray M'Cheyne, a godly Scottish pastor who died at age 29, having been beset by various illnesses throughout his short life (1813-1843). Yet M'Cheyne's love for the Lord and for people was so intense, that he made more of an impact on his generation in his 29 years than most people do in a lifetime -- or even twenty-nine lifetimes!

In reflecting on some of M'Cheyne's most endearing qualities, Andrew Bonar recalled how his dear friend's "heart felt for the young." He found considerable joy in teaching children and had a knack for getting down on their level to communicate to them biblical truth. Citing one particular case that came to mind, Bonar wrote, "Ever watchful for opportunities, on the blank leaf of a book which he had sent to a little boy in his congregation, he wrote these simple lines:

Peace be to thee, gentle boy!
Many years of health and joy!
Love Your Bible more than play,
Grow in wisdom every day.
Like the lark on hovering wing,
Early rise, and mount and sing;
Like the dove that found no rest
Till it flew to Noah's breast,
Rest not in this world of sin,
Till the Savior take thee in.


Most of us can't write clever little rhymes such as this, but we can follow M'Cheyne's example in ministering to children -- first to our own and then other children as God gives us opportunity. This is especially important this Christmas season, as commercialism can so easily crowd out Christ from our affections. As we go about our busy lives this week, let's do what we can to be a blessing to children, remembering the love that God has for them.

"Take Heed How You Hear!"

In his devotional book, Taste and See, pastor-theologian John Piper lists what he calls "ten practical suggestions for hearing the Word of God on Sunday morning." This is based on his meditation of Luke 8:18: "Take heed then how you hear; for to him who has will more be given, and from him who has not, even what he thinks that he has will be taken away." With this verse in mind, Piper offers the following tips:

1. Pray that God would give you a good and honest heart.
The heart we need is a work of God. That’s why we pray for it. "I will give you a new heart" (Ezek. 36:26). "I will give them a heart to know Me" (Jer. 24:7). Let’s pray, "O Lord, give me a heart for you. Give me a good and honest heart. Give me a soft and receptive heart. Give me a humble and meek heart. Give me a fruitful heart."

2. Meditate on the Word of God.
"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good" (Psalm 34:8). On Saturday night, read some delicious portion of your Bible with a view to stirring up hunger for God. This is the appetizer for Sunday morning’s meal.

3. Purify your mind by turning away from worldly entertainment.
"Putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which I able to save your souls" (James 1:21, emphasis added). It astonishes me how many Christians watch the same banal, empty, silly, trivial, titillating, suggestive, immodest TV shows that most unbelievers watch. This makes us small and weak and worldly and inauthentic in worship. Instead, turn off the television on Saturday night and read something true and great and beautiful and pure and honorable and excellent and worthy of praise (Phil. 4:8). Your heart will unshrivel and be able to feel greatness again.

4. Trust in the truth you already have.
The hearing of the Word of God that fails during trial has no root (Luke 8:13). What is the root we need? It is trust. Jeremiah 17:7-8 says, "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose trust is the LORD. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream" (emphasis added).

5. Rest long enough Saturday night to be alert and hopeful Sunday morning.
"All things are lawful for me, but I will not be enslaved by anything" (1 Cor. 6:12, RSV). I am not laying down any law here. I am saying there are Saturday night ways that ruin Sunday morning worship. Don’t be enslaved by them. Without sufficient sleep, our minds are dull, our emotions are flat, our proneness to depression is higher, and our fuses are short. My counsel: Decide when you must get up on Sunday in order to have time to eat, get dressed, pray and meditate on the Word, prepare the family, and travel to church; and then compute backward eight hours and be sure that you are in bed fifteen minutes before that. Read your Bible in bed and fall asleep with the Word of God in your mind. I especially exhort parents to teach teenagers that Saturday night is not the night to stay out late with friends. If there is a special late night, make it Friday. It is a terrible thing to teach children that worship is so optional that it doesn’t matter if you are exhausted when you come.

6. Forbear one another Sunday morning without grumbling and criticism.
"They grumbled in their tents; they did not listen to the voice of the LORD" (Psalm 106:25). Sunday morning grumbling and controversy and quarreling can ruin a worship service for a family. When there is something you are angry about or some conflict that you genuinely think needs to be talked about, forbear. Of course if you are clearly the problem and need to apologize, do it as quickly as you can (Matt. 5:23-24). But if you are fuming because of the children’s or spouse’s delinquency, forbear, that is, be slow to anger and quick to listen (James 1:19). In worship, open yourself to God’s exposing the log in your own eye. It may be that all of you will be humbled and chastened so that no serious conflict is necessary.

7. Be meek and teachable when you come.
"Receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls" (James 1:21, RSV). Meekness and teachability are not gullibility. You have your Bibles and you have your brain. Use them. But if we come with a chip on our shoulders and a suspicion of the preaching, week after week, we will not hear the Word of God. Meekness is a humble openness to God’s truth with a longing to be changed by it.

8. Be still and enter the room and focus your mind’s attention and heart’s affection on God.
"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10, NKJV). As we enter the sanctuary, let us come on the lookout for God, and leave on the lookout for people. Come with a quiet passion to seek God and his power. We will not be an unfriendly church if we are aggressive in our pursuit of God during the prelude and aggressive in our pursuit of visitors during the postlude.

9. Think earnestly about what is sung and prayed and preached.
"Brethren, do not be children in your thinking; yet in evil be infants, but in your thinking be mature" (1 Cor. 14:20, emphasis added). So Paul says to Timothy, "Think over what I say, for the Lord will grant you understanding in everything" (2 Timothy 2:7, RSV, emphasis added). Anything worth hearing is worth thinking about. If you would heed how you hear, think about what you hear.

10. Desire the truth of God’s Word more than you desire riches or food.
"Like newborn babies, long for [desire] the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation" (1 Peter 2:2, author’s translation). As you sit quietly and pray and meditate on the text and the songs, remind yourself of what Psalm 19:10-11 says about the words of God: "More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb."